There’s nothing like being stuck inside the house for 10 days with covid to get me to watch an Adam Sandler film. I can’t stand the guy, though I’ll admit that he was excellent in UNCUT GEMS, probably because he played against his usual character type. Sandler is now back with YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH, a family comedy that he also produced. This is a Sandler family affair with his two daughters, Sunny and Sadie, taking leading roles while he and his wife, Jackie, play supporting characters.

Twelve-year-old Stacy Friedman (Sunny) is really looking forward to her bat mitzvah and she’s already got the party completely planned out with a Twizzler bar and musical entertainment by Dua Lipa. Of course, her parents, Danny (Adam) and Bree (Idina Menzel, CINDERELLA; the FROZEN and ENCHANTED films), would rather have their daughter focus on the mitzvah (good deed) part of her coming-of-age ritual than on the party that will have a DJ, not Dua Lipa, but privileged pre-teen girls can dream. At a get together with the cool kids, Stacy decides to leap into a water-filled gorge to impress her crush, Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman), but her bit of bravado doesn’t go quite as planned and it puts a rift between her and her BFF, Lydia Rodriguez Katz (Samantha Lorraine), whose own bat mitzvah is just before Stacy’s. Later, when Stacy catches Lydia kissing Andy, she sets out to sabotage Lydia’s happiness, going as far as disinviting her lifelong friend to her bat mitzvah.

Jewish-themed coming-of-age movies have been around for years but, up until very recently, most have remained on the Jewish film festival circuit. Now, thanks to Netflix and other streamers, they’re hitting our TV and computer screens. Some, like ARE YOU THERE G-D? IT’S ME, MARGARET. have been surprisingly pleasant, dare I even say good, while others, like 13: THE MUSICAL, have been a “shandeh” (a disgrace). Call me shocked but YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH falls into the “pleasant” category. It’s not great but it has its moments and it does what it sets out to do – it’s decent family entertainment. The story is based on the 2005 young adult novel of the same name, and writer Alison Peck (WORK IT) and director Sammi Cohen (CRUSH) have done an admirable job transitioning Jewish pre-teen angst from the page to the screen. Neither Sunny nor her older sister Sadie, who plays Stacy’s older sister Ronnie, has much experience in front of the camera but they handle their roles well and are enjoyable to watch. Their scenes with dad Adam are the best parts of the film as their interactions are tender when they need to be, amusing and very believable.

The story, though, does go towards stereotyping to get the laughs and this is where it falls short. All the elder characters sound like they grew up in the tenements of New York’s Lower East Side. Maybe the previous generation did but not that generation. Equally disappointing are the performances of SNL newcomer Sarah Sherman and SNL writer Dan Bulla, who play Rabbi Rebecca and Cantor Jerry respectively. They both behave more like camp counsellors than spiritual leaders, again for the laughs that just don’t come. Maybe it’s a Reform Jewish thing but that kind of behaviour would never fly in my synagogue. Speaking of which, I went to Sunday school as a kid but is Saturday school a thing with Reform Jews? Saturday or Sunday, at least Stacy and her classmates are as disengaged as my classmates were back in the day.

YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH is streaming now on Netflix. If you’re looking for a Jewish-themed coming-of-age film that’s good for the whole family to watch, you can do far worse than this one.

Thanks for reading but don’t be a lurker! If you liked what you just read, here are some suggestions:

Sign up to receive my movie reviews in your inbox automatically
Share this review on your Facebook page
Leave me a message telling me what you thought of my review or the film
Bookmark the site and visit often
Like my Howard For Film Facebook page
Watch my reviews on my YouTube page
Check out my Howard For Film magazine on Flipboard
Tell your friends about the site