I’ve been in Hong Kong so long, you’d think I’d understand what goes through the heads of our local film distributors. Rather than programming films that audiences want to see, like GODZILLA MINUS ONE, which still doesn’t have a release date, they programme rubbish. It’s no wonder that the HK box office for 2023 was below pre-pandemic levels.

Opening yesterday is NIGHT SWIM, and if you’ve seen the trailer, you know what you’re in for. The only possibility that this movie could be any good is that its two stars are well known and the film is produced by Blumhouse.

Based on the 2014 short film by Rod Blackhurst and Bryce McGuire, NIGHT SWIM tells the story of the Waller family and what happens to them when they buy a house that carries a deadly secret. Patriarch Roy (Wyatt Russell,(OVERLORD) is a pro baseball player who recently retired due to a neurodegenerative disease. Wife Eve (Kerry Condon, THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN) recently got a job at a local school. Together with their kids, daughter Izzy (Amélie Hoeferle, THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS & SNAKES) and Elliot (Gavin Warren, TV’s FEAR THE WALKING DEAD), they move into a beautiful house that has a backyard pool. The water in the pool is spring-fed and appears to be giving new life to Roy but Eve and the kids all report strange incidents happening to them while they’re swimming, plus their cat seems to have disappeared.

Big name stars and a big name horror film producer aren’t enough to make NIGHT SWIM worth dipping your toes in the shallow end for. This film is rubbish. The story starts off well as the audience tries to figure out what is going on under the surface of the water but when the secret is revealed to Eve, nothing that happened before or happens after makes much sense. I haven’t seen the short film but it would seem that director Bryce McGuire didn’t know how to flesh out his own story. Adding to the frustration is a scene involving the pool skimmer that is torn from the pages of IT.

NIGHT SWIM opened yesterday in Hong Kong. If you’ve been looking for a reason to catch a movie in the cinema, you’re better off staying at home than watching this waterlogged toy sink to the bottom of the pool.

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