Moviedom’s most popular animated big boys are back in GODZILLA x KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE and this time they put aside their differences (hence the “x” in the title) to defeat a new enemy.

Following the events in 2021’s GODZILLA VS. KONG where the two beasts trashed every building in Hong Kong’s Central district except for the Bank of China Tower (Legendary Pictures is a Chinese company, after all), Monarch was able to broker peace between them. Kong would live in the Hollow Earth where he could reign supreme, and Godzilla would live on Earth’s surface, fighting off all the other nasty Titans that would inevitably make their way there. But something is now up. Signals are emanating from beneath the Hollow Earth and the nerds at Monarch can’t figure out what it is. Jia (Kaylee Hottle), the last known surviving Iwi and the adopted daughter of Monarch anthropological linguist Dr. Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall, PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN), is sensing the signals too. Godzilla also senses the signals and he leaves his home in Rome’s Colosseum to head off to France where he attacks a nuclear facility, absorbing its radiation. Meanwhile, Kong is getting lonely living in the Hollow Earth and he ends up with an infected gum after an encounter with a sabre-toothed animal. He heads to the surface and wacky dentist Trapper (Dan Stevens, I’M YOUR MAN) is called in to help. With Kong now in good hands, Andrews reaches out to Titan conspiracy podcast host Bernie Hayes (Brian Tyree Henry, ETERNALS). She makes the decision to travel down to Hollow Earth with Kong, Trapper and, of course, both Bernie and Jia want to come along.

This is the fifth film in Legendary’s MonsterVerse franchise and by now no one is expecting stories that are filled with any deep thought. In that respect, GODZILLA x KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE doesn’t disappoint. It’s completely daft, or perhaps I should say that it’s DAF. Returning director Adam Wingard and his fellow writers throw everything into this one, borrowing ideas from PLANET OF THE APES, JURASSIC PARK, TRANSFORMERS, JUMANJI, every MARVEL movie and TV’s GAME OF THRONES. Even Nintendo gets a nod and a wink when Kong is fitted with a contraption that’s not too dissimilar to the gaming company’s Power Glove.

Where the film really falters is with the huge amount of exposition that goes on. Movies are supposed to show, not tell, but here it’s mostly tell as Dr. Andrews has to explain everything to her colleagues, who really are surrogates for us. That’s how dumb the script is. The CGI, too, is fairly unimpressive given what’s possible these days. It’s really hard to comprehend what Wingard was going for as it’s a lame attempt to recreate, or perhaps update, the style of the campy GODZILLA films of the 1970s.

While GODZILLA VS. KONG was a moneymaker for the studio, I doubt GODZILLA x KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE will have the same good fortune. With a production budget of US$135 million, it’s got a steep mountain to climb. Nevertheless, another sequel is being considered.

GODZILLA x KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE is playing now in Hong Kong and around the world. This one’s only for the diehard kaiju fans.

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