In today’s Hong Kong, corruption in the civil service ranks no longer exists. Patriots just wouldn’t consider doing anything illegal. It’s that simple. Under China’s National Security Law, which now extends here to Hong Kong, movies that show our noble members of the constabulary engaging in unsavory criminal acts are censored. That means that movies like INFERNAL AFFAIRS, and pretty much every other crime drama that was made here over the past 30 years, could not be made today. If you’re a filmmaker who wants to make such a film, what can you do? Well, that’s easy. Just set the action prior to 1997 when, duh!, the police force was a hotbed of corrupt activity. That’s exactly what prolific filmmaker Herman Yau/邱禮濤 (NESSUN DORMA) did, except that his latest film, CRISIS NEGOTIATORS, is a remake of the 1998 film, THE NEGOTIATOR, that starred Samuel L. Jackson and Kevin Spacey.

Senior police negotiator Cheuk Man-wai (Sean Lau Ching-wan/劉青雲, THE WHITE STORM 3: HEAVEN OR HELL/掃毒3人在天涯) becomes the prime suspect when his partner is murdered. Clearly being set up by someone or some people on the police force, he takes over the police station, holding people hostage and demanding negotiations with former police negotiator turned social worker Tse Ka-chun (Francis Ng/吳鎮宇, DEATH NOTICE/暗殺風暴). While Tse aims for a peaceful resolution and Cheuk tries to solve who is framing him, some of Cheuk’s colleagues on the force are hard at work to ensure that he doesn’t make it out of the building alive.

CRISIS NEGOTIATORS is a mediocre copy of a great movie. There’s not too much that’s different from the original story, though Yau did make a few noticeable tweaks – some for the better and some not. One thing that stood out to me when I watched the original film was the scene where Samuel L. Jackson’s character stands at the blown out window on the 20^th floor of the police station in downtown Chicago and shouts down to the people gathered below. Meanwhile, helicopters are buzzing around him. At the time I thought, “How could anyone possibly hear him?” Yau must have thought the same thing because in his film, the blown out window is now on the 10^th floor, the building is away from the street and Cheuk is using a megaphone. There’s also the scene in the original where Jackson’s character gets shot and a pool of blood quickly forms around his body. Then, miraculously, he gets up a few minutes later and walks away. Nuh uh! If you’re losing that much blood that quickly, there’s no way you’re going to be able to stand up, much less walk away. Yau killed that scene altogether. Those are the good tweaks. The first bad tweak comes very early on when Yau shows us the face of a police officer planting evidence in Cheuk’s home. Noooooooo! Yau clearly thinks his audience is too stupid to work out for themselves who the bad guys are. The other bad tweak is not giving the audience enough shady characters for us to consider whether they are good or bad. In CRISIS NEGOTIATORS, it’s very clear who is good and who is bad. Again, Yau must think his audience is a bunch of numbskulls.

But all that pales with Yau’s biggest faux pas. His principal actors are all too old. I don’t mean to sound ageist and, heaven knows, I’m old but no amount of black hair dye, plastic surgery and Botox injections is going to convince me that a 60-year-old desk jockey can outrun and outclimb a bunch of 30-something beat cops. And don’t even begin to try to explain how the Deputy Chief of Police (played by 71-year-old Kent Cheng/鄭則士) is still on the force. I’m pretty sure the Royal Hong Kong Police Force had a mandatory retirement age of 65, just as the HKPF does now.

CRISIS NEGOTIATORS opened in Hong Kong yesterday (June 13^th). It’s not a dumpster fire but it’s not good either. Definitely skip it and watch THE NEGOTIATOR instead.

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