It used to be in the days of Blockbuster that when movie distributors knew that they had a dog on their hands, they’d just send it straight to video rather than throw good money after bad and give it a theatrical release, which would involve shelling out a hefty chunk of cash for marketing and promotion. Today we have multiple global streaming channels, all owned by much larger companies that have movie production interests. For HBO and its sister station HBO Max, that company is Warner Bros Discovery, which also owns New Line Cinema. New Line has a pretty good track record of success, the most notable being the LOTR and THE HOBBIT franchises which grossed closed to US$6 billion combined at the box office. It would be fair to say, then, that when New Line dumps a film on HBO Max without it going through a theatrical release, it’s for a very good reason. The latest case in point is THE PARENTING, which landed on the streamer on March 13th.

Rohan (Nik Dodani, TWISTERS) and Josh (Brandon Flynn, TV’s 13 REASONS WHY) are a young gay couple who have arranged for a weekend getaway with both sets of parents so that the families can get to know each other and their respective sons. Rohan finds the perfect rental house in the country with enough bedrooms and ensuite bathrooms that everyone can feel comfortable. Rohan and Josh arrive there first and they meet Brenda (Parker Posey, TV’s THE WHITE LOTUS), the property manager, who welcomes them in and provides them with the house’s WiFi password. Next to arrive is Rohan’s parents, Sharon (Edie Falco, TV’s NURSE JACKIE and THE SOPRANOS) and Frank (Brian Cox, TV’s SUCCESSION), quickly followed by Josh’s parents, Liddy (Lisa Kudrow, TV’s FRIENDS) and Cliff (Dean Norris, TV’s BREAKING BAD). As the adults settle into their weekend digs, it’s not without the usual challenges of having strangers in close quarters with each other but then weird things start to take place. It begins to snow very heavily when the forecast had called for clear skies, the WiFi password doesn’t seem to work and phone service is spotty at best, and the house begins to make loud noises. The situation enters creepy territory when Frank wakes up the next morning acting very un-Frank-like.

Oh dear. One has to wonder what these actors were thinking when they first read the script by longtime SNL writer Kent Sublette. These are some very accomplished people who have done comedic work in their careers so maybe they thought they could breathe some life into it. Parker Posey certainly does her darnedest but otherwise it was too tall an order even for the others. Not one line that was intended to be funny lands without a thud. The humour is puerile — private body parts are discussed at length (literally!), there is no shortage of projectile vomit, one character has to stick his finger up a dog’s butt, and then there’s Frank, who spouts homophobic slurs while under demonic possession. One has to wonder if Frank really thinks these things but has learned to keep quiet about them. In any case, it’s 2025. Are we still mining homophobia for cheap laughs? Then there’s the horror, which is far from being scary. It’s not even funny-scary the way THE MONKEY is. It’s just dumb. The film is a complete misfire for director Craig Johnson (THE SKELETON TWINS) who has done better.

THE PARENTING is streaming now on HBO Max. It’s painful to watch and the film’s 90-minute runtime seems to last an eternity. Don’t waste your time with it.

Thanks for reading but don’t be a lurker! If you liked what you just read, here are some suggestions:

Sign up to receive my movie reviews in your inbox automatically
Share this review on your Facebook page
Leave me a message telling me what you thought of my review or the film
Bookmark the site and visit often
Like my Howard For Film Facebook page
Watch my reviews on my YouTube page
Check out my Howard For Film magazine on Flipboard
Tell your friends about the site